Don’t Piss Off the Unicorn
Glenda Glitterpoop is a cute, cuddly little unicorn. Until you squeeze her and reveal her dark side. Doubtful “unicorn bites” are covered under your current medical insurance.
Bob Ross Chia Featuring Phthalo Green Afro
Everybody needs a friend. Bob Ross will be your friend, with happy little chia trees sprouting forth in full afro glory.
![DIY Alien Abduction Lamp: [Insert Quip About Probes Here]](http://contrarymall.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/alien_abduction_lamp_diy.jpeg)
DIY Alien Abduction Lamp: [Insert Quip About Probes Here]
If you have a yearning for home decor inspired by brutal alien abductions (and who doesn’t?), this might be the perfect way to spend an afternoon.
UFO Detector with Built-in … Just Read the Description
You know, how when UFOs land, they create electromagnetic disturbances? (Of course you know; you’re a Contrary Mall shopper.) With a built-in magnetometer, his handy gadget will alert you to said disturbances (and resulting UFOs) 24/7.
YouTube: Aliens Enjoy John Legend Music
Glowing beams and orbs certainly make us think of overwrought piano music.